


New Beginnings (and more)

by justlieforme



Category: f(x)
Genre: F/F, Lunber
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 14:03:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10111838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justlieforme/pseuds/justlieforme
Summary: A collection of snippets following the beginning of Luna and Amber's relationship to the present. Consider this a loose, unstructured prequel to my multi-chap "In Plain Sight."





	1. Chapter 1

March 2015

* * *

They'd loved each other for a long time. Ever since the band got together, really. It was hard not to, really. Amber didn't think she'd ever met anyone as sweet, anyone as dedicated. Even with the language barrier between them, it didn't matter. Having someone always around, wanting to be near, with warm hands and gentle embraces-of course Amber began to love her, reciprocating back all the love she'd received. After some time it was just natural for that feeling of love to become one of being in love. Before Amber knew it, she was already head over heels for the younger girl. Every thought she had was wrapped up in her smiling face and hearty laugh, and all Amber ever wanted to do was be with her. She’d had fallen madly in love and didn't plan on doing anything about it. She didn't need to. Holding on to every little hug or peck on the cheek was more than enough, and for as long as she could remember, she had no issue. Years passed and everything was fine, that bright spark in her chest only ever growing in size.

 

Except there were times, times when things got a little too hard. Times like when Amber had to haul the small girl up to bed after a night of drowning their problems in beer, something the younger one wasn't too good at doing. The foreign mattress was soft, yet the warm body drunkenly asking her to spend the night was even softer. Sleep never came to her on a night like that, where smooth curves were just lying beneath the thinnest layer of fabric below her fingertips, exposed and sensitive skin displayed just in front of her lips. When she grumbled and turned around, laying her head against the flat surface of Amber's shoulder, it was hard not to just tell her then, at a time when she was so drunk that she may not even remember.

 

But Amber never told her. And things like that only ever kept happening. She thought the best thing to do was just to avoid her entirely, to escape from any chance of getting a little too close, for almost letting it slip. But what was she supposed to do? What choice did she have when the small girl would come up to her, pouting to her that she was freezing to death in that tiny dress they put her in. What else could Amber do but welcome her into her arms like she'd asked, to wrap her arms around her small waist and let the tired vocalist lay her head against her shoulder, their bodies pressing together in a way that she could feel every curve of her soft body up against her side. Amber tried to tell herself that she was just doing a service, that all it was was helping out a friend in need. But she'd be lying if she said she ever wanted to let go, that the feeling of her in her arms wasn't the greatest thing she'd ever experienced. She wished she didn't have to lie.

 

And then there came a day where she couldn't hold it in any longer, where her senses just took hold of her for one moment too long until she was suddenly pressing her lips against Luna's against one of the walls in the practice room. They’d just been playing around. Luna'd only made a joke about her dancing and Amber only responded by chasing her around the room and then there were tickles and giggles and suddenly Amber had her up against a wall. She was so close. She was just so close. And she was panting from all the running and her laughter had brought a few tears to her eyes and Amber just had to lean in and wipe them away.

 

And then she just did it. She kissed her. She just brushed her lips against Luna's slightly parted mouth because she just looked so damn beautiful and it was more incredible than she’d ever imagined. But then she realized what she just did. And then she ran.

 

When Amber came barging into her home at 11 p.m. later that night, she once again had no idea what she was doing. One second she was in her own home, pacing around until she ended up kicking a wall, and then she was out on the street before ending up where she was now, in Luna's living room on her couch.

 

She just came there to apologize. She just came to try and see if there was any way that Luna wouldn't hate her for the rest of her life.

  
“I’m sorry, Sunyoung.” Amber told her, finally breaking the silence of the tense room. “You can just forget it ever happened.”

 

She supposed the questions that followed were kind of expected. Of course Luna would want to know about her sexuality, and as awkward as it was, she told her and wanted to leave it at that. Luna's next words, however, were ones she did not expect at all.

 

“How do you know?”

 

“What?” Amber asked, running a sweaty palm down her jeans. Why on earth would she… “Are you really asking me-”

 

Luna shut her eyes, shaking her head back and forth in frustration, suddenly bursting out, “How did you know that you were gay?”

 

Amber ran her fingers through her hair, confusedly staring at her again. She didn't know how to respond. She didn't want to. She'd already messed things up badly enough. She was really about to get up, stopping at the strange look in Luna's eyes. She didn't look...accusing, as Amber had originally thought. There was a wrinkle in her forehead and desperation in her expression that Amber couldn't quite understand.

 

“I don't know…” she managed to say, “I just knew.”

 

“But how?” Luna pressed on.

 

“I don't know,” Amber somberly shook her head, sighing with discomfort,“By just...feeling something, I knew.”

 

She didn't think she could keep talking about it any longer. There was enough shame in her heart, a dear friendship just ruined. All because of a damned crush, and that small ray of hope that had made Amber kiss her earlier that day, she ruined everything.  

 

It was silent, and all Amber could hear was a pesky tick of a clock in the corner, Luna sitting in silence beside her. She couldn't even look at her. And then Luna whispered “Does that mean I'm gay, too?”

 

“What?” Amber turned her head, almost in anger at the little cruel joke Luna seemed to be playing on her, suddenly finding her on the verge of tears. “Luna…”

 

“Because when you kissed me, I-I felt something, like I might…like I actually…”

 

“Luna,” Amber repeated again, her eyes wide, “Are you saying that-”

 

“Can you kiss me again?” Luna whispered, her hand shakily stretching out towards her.

 

“What?” Amber nearly jumped, “I-I don't think-”

 

“I just...I need to know. Please.”

 

It’d seemed like the worse idea in the entire world, yet one look in her eye, and Amber was already inching closer, she just couldn’t help it, and their lips came together again. And it was just as good as she remembered. Painfully so. She couldn't help but shut her eyes even tighter, wishing desperately to freeze this moment in time. She wanted to wrap her arms around her, to press their lips together even harder, to be able to kiss Luna like this whenever she could-but she knew that wouldn't be possible. Luna remained completely still against her and Amber knew the kiss only furthered the unsalvageable divide between them. It took all she had to finally pull away from her, knowing very well it'd be the last time she ever got to kiss her again.

 

Amber tried to get one last look at Luna's face before she could notice. Her eyes were still closed and Amber willed herself one more good look before knowing it was time to just leave. And then Amber felt her grab onto her hand. She watched, helpless as Luna held her onto her, not saying a word until a tear slipped out from her closed eyes.

 

“Luna…?” Amber whispered quietly, hearing the shake in her own voice. And then Luna’s hand squeezed hers tighter and before she knew it, there lips were together again. Luna was leaning into her and her hand was gripping hers so tightly as their lips moved together. It was so slow, and timid, and their bodies were moving closer. Amber’s free hand was just sitting in her lap until it somehow found it's way to Luna's side and Amber could feel her small hand hold the back of her neck, seeming like she was so entirely unsure of what she was doing until something definitely clicked and she was pulling away.

 

“Sunyoung…”

 

It was as if she'd startled her, Luna suddenly letting go of her hand, her head turning in the other direction. “I need to think.”

 

“Think?” Amber questioned in confusion, “Think about what?”

 

Luna suddenly jumped up from the sofa, moving to stand beside the window. “I just need to think.”

 

“Luna?” Amber stood up to follow her. “I need you to talk to me.”

 

Luna turned around, moving closer to the wall at how close she had come, her arms protectively crossed over her chest. “I just…” She kept her head down, avoiding Amber's eyes as she tried to step closer.  

 

“Talk to me,” Amber pleaded, coming closer anyway. “Please.”

 

Luna's bit her lip, suddenly darting around Amber to pace on the other side of the room. “W-well how is this going to work anyway?” she exclaimed quickly, walking back and forth beside the kitchen table, her hands shaking in the air. “Keeping it a secret might be hard a-and not even the members can know and we'll have to be really careful in performances and, umm, shows and-”

 

“Luna.” Amber interrupted, her heart beating so quickly it thudded in her ears.

 

“And we need to figure out how we’re going to do this and like how we’re going to have dates and where we're going to go and-”

 

“Luna!”

 

Luna stopped her pacing, looking up at her. She picked at a strand of  hair, moving it out of her face, letting out the breath she was holding in. “What?”

 

Amber stared at her in disbelief. “What? What do you mean ‘what?’ What were you saying about all that- ”

 

“Well I'm just trying to see how we're going to plan everything because I've never dated a girl before and especially not one in the same group as me and-”

 

“Yo-you want to date me?”

 

Luna gave her strange look, her eyes still glossy with her sudden outburst.“Well, _obviously_!”

 

She shut her mouth when Amber suddenly started heading towards her, taking Luna's face into her hands and pulling her into a kiss. She made a muffled sound of surprise, stumbling back at the way Amber moved against her lips. Amber tangled her fingers into Luna's hair and Luna eventually found a steady ground, her arms winding around Amber's torso, her neck stretching up to meet her height. Their lips moved in unison, quickly, urgently, the two of them desperately trying to catch their breaths in little gaps between their lips. Amber rubbed Luna's cheeks with her thumbs and continued to kiss until she felt the need for oxygen burning in her throat, the sensation akin to the fire spreading across her chest. The kiss eventually slowed into brief, longing pecks following before they finally pulled apart, needy for air. Amber pressed her forehead against hers, feeling Luna's fingers running up and down her back, their eyes still closed.

 

“Luna…”

 

“Amber…” Luna opened her eyes, looking up into Amber’s with a soft smile. Amber returned it, starting to bring her head down to initiate another kiss before Luna suddenly remembered to glance at the clock, exclaiming “We’re going to Busan tomorrow!”

 

“Wha-”

 

“At 7! And we have to be up at 6!”

 

“I completely forgot.”

 

“You have to go!” Luna disentangled herself from Amber’s embrace, gently pushing her away. “We have to get to sleep!”

 

“But…”

  
“We’ll talk tomorrow, Am. Now leave! I'll see you later!”

 

And with that, she practically shoved the older girl out of her apartment before shutting the door behind her, a bright smile permanently etched onto her face. 


	2. The Next Day

Tomorrow couldn’t have come any faster, and when it did, the two of them could barely say anything to each other, despite the fact that they were together for nearly the whole day. It was awkward, Amber was nervous, and there were people around them at all hours of the event. Even on stage, Amber’s nerves wouldn’t leave her alone, especially when she had to share it with Luna during her guest appearance in the solo.

 

She just didn’t know what the other girl was thinking. She’d just forced her out of the apartment the night before, and now Amber was stuck standing beside her, and she was just difficult to read.

 

“Are you two okay?” One of their stylists had asked them had asked when they were seated in an uncharacteristic bubble of silence.

 

“What? Oh no we’re just-”

 

“We’re just tired,” Luna told the woman, turning her head to look at Amber for a moment before quickly darting them away. Whether she was being like this because of the others around or something else, Amber didn't know. Whatever the reason was, she couldn't stop thinking about it.

 

After what felt like forever, the concert was finally over and the two of them were allowed to retreat back to their hotel rooms for the night. The only problem was that there were no hotel rooms, only a hotel room, that their management had booked for them to share.

 

“Uhh, after you,” Amber muttered, holding the door open for her after she finally managed to unlock it after an embarrassing fourth try.

 

“Thanks,” Luna said quietly, walking through it with her head down. Amber sighed, stepping in after her before shutting the door behind her, suddenly plagued with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t ignore. Even with all the kissing that happened the night before, something felt off. They were supposed to talk. And now that it was finally time to, God, she was nervous.

 

There bags were already there and and Amber watched as Luna moved over to hers, undoing the zips to gather her things before standing up to head to the bathroom, passing Amber as she stood by the vanity. For two people that had known each other for all of eight years, they were incredibly awkward. After a weird back and forth, they eventually decided that Luna would shower first. Not knowing what else to do, Amber decided to take a seat sat in the large chair beside the window, finding herself having to try a little too hard to not think about what Luna was doing at that very moment. She hadn’t the slightest clue what was going on in Luna’s head right now. She had no idea what she was going to say, or whether she was going to say anything at all at this point. When it was her turn with the bathroom, she quickly went in, accidentally brushing against Luna as she passed.

 

“Sorry…” Amber muttered when Luna nearly dropped her towel, wet hair swinging against her shoulders.

 

“It’s okay,” Luna replied, stepping back so Amber could go into the steam-filled room, letting out a breath of relief when the door closed.

 

When Amber got out, Luna was still seated in front of the vanity, running a brush through her nearly-dry hair. She set the brush down when she saw Amber heading towards her bag, turning to watch her put away some of her belongings. When Amber turned around, she knew Luna had been staring at her, catching sight of the way her head had quickly moved away. Luna scooted her chair back and stood up.

 

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

 

“A walk?”

 

-

 

It was pretty cold. Or at least, Amber figured it must’ve been, given the thick fog that loomed over their heads. She couldn’t quite tell, though, the only feeling she was capable of noticing being the one of discomfort that didn’t seem to fade in the time they left the hotel for Luna’s suggested walk.

 

“Do you want to go this way?” Luna’s sweet voice called out to her, eyes widened above the gray mask that covered her mouth and nose as she waited for a response.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Amber nodded, tugging on her hood as they headed in the direction she pointed to. It was quite late, and the road they were walking along was empty and scattered with light. Quietly, they trudged forward, soon happening upon a nice path, one surrounded by beautiful trees that Amber probably would’ve appreciated on any other day than this one in particular.

 

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Luna asked her, tilting her head up to admire the large oak to to their right. Light from one of the lampposts was shining just above her, a ray of it perfectly hitting the side of her face. All of her makeup from the day was gone and fuzzy beanie pulled over her forehead, short brown hair peeking out from the sides. Even with the little dark circles that resided just below her eyes, it was quite a sight.

 

“Amber?”

 

“Huh?” Amber stuttered, averting her gaze the moment she realized Luna’d caught her. “Oh, yes, it’s, uhh, really pretty here.”

 

“It is.” Luna nodded her head, eyeing her curiously. Feeling awkward under her stare, Amber turned her head forward, continuing down the little path with Luna following beside her. They kept going like that for a little while, walking side-by-side in silence. There were a million things Amber wanted to say to her, though the thought of bringing up just one never escaped her lips. They kept on walking and Amber swore Luna was beginning to come closer to her until she really was just against her side, lightly bumping into her shoulder.

 

“Amber,” she said in a quiet voice, eyes fixated on the ground.

 

“Y-yes?”

 

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

 

Luna’s words were just a whisper and when Amber turned, she felt a flush rise to her cheeks and the look of amusement on Luna’s face.

 

“What do you want me to say?” she asked shyly, hoping her black mask would conceal some of her visible embarrassment.

 

“I don’t know... _something._ ” Luna bumped into her shoulder again and Amber could feel her pulse increase ten-fold.

 

“Well, umm, I don’t know…”

 

“Nothing?”

 

“I mean…”

 

“Amber!”

 

“What?” she asked as they stopped walking, Amber turning to find Luna looking at her with mild annoyance mixed with an amused smile. For a second, Amber forgot what they were even talking about, caught up in the moment over the fact that Luna was smiling and she was the reason for it. She’d removed her mask now, too, which Amber just noticed, her entire face visible in the dim light from the streetlamps above them. “You’re pretty,” Amber found herself saying suddenly, watching Luna’s eyes widen in surprise as hers did the same.

 

“Oh…” Luna muttered, covering her warm cheeks with her hands, glancing down at the ground.

 

“S-sorry,” Amber stuttered apologetically, looking at the discomfort on Luna’s face, “I don’t even know why I said that. It just slipped out and I…”

 

“It’s okay,” Luna said awkwardly, grinning down at the pavement, “Thanks.”

 

Amber felt like hitting herself in the forward right now, unsure of how she was being so incredibly bad at this. She didn’t want to say anything, and Luna didn’t say anything, either, the only sounds coming from the streets and the wind rustling through the trees behind them. A small bench was just beside them, so naturally, they both moved towards it to sit down, making sure to leave a good distance between them.

 

“So…” Luna began after a few seconds of silence, plopping her hands shyly in her lap.

 

“So…” Amber replied, stretching her legs out in front of her, eyes fixated on them instead of her.

 

“You like me, huh?” Luna stated, evidently deciding to cut right to the chase, much to Amber’s dismay. She was looking at Amber patiently when she finally mustered up the courage to face her, their eyes finally meeting after all that time they spent avoiding doing so.

 

“I do,” she cleared her throat uncomfortably.

 

“Why?” Luna could see the fear her question prompted, biting her lip before deciding saying, “Or, at least, since when?”

 

It was a fair question, though Amber still wished she didn’t have to answer it, pondering whether she should tell her a lie or admit the truth. “A few years…” She decided to tell her vaguely, watching Luna’s eyebrows raise in surprise.

 

“Years?” she repeated, baffled over the idea that she hadn’t known for so long. “You’ve liked me for years and I never noticed?”

  
“Well…”

 

“Even when I was with…” Luna trailed off, not wanting to say much more about her past ex.

 

“Yeah,” Amber nodded, internally shuddering at the dark memories of that time,“Even then.”

 

Luna leaned back into the bench, staring off distractedly as she no doubt thought of all the time they’d spent together in the past few years, unable to believe that she’d never noticed anything to indicate Amber’s feelings for her. Eyebrows knit together, she tilted her head in Amber’s direction, asking, “So did you never go out with anyone?”

 

“I did.”

 

"A girl?"

 

"Yeah."

 

“And it didn’t work out?” Luna inquired, leaning closer just a hair.

 

“Well, I had feelings for someone else, so…”

 

“Oh,” Luna nodded in realization, returning back to her previous position with the cool metal backing behind her back. It was beginning to get late, and with the scattered conversation, Amber considered having them just head back to the hotel for the night. She was just about to suggest it, clearing her throat when Luna suddenly said her name.

 

“Yeah?” Amber asked, waiting for her to respond. Luna was suddenly looking like she was about to gnaw her bottom lip raw with the way her teeth had been digging into it, her eyes nervous as she appeared to be struggling with the next thing she wanted to say.

 

“I think you’re pretty, too.”

 

“Oh.” Suddenly it hit her that Luna was just a few inches away and the lips she was biting on were they ones she’d felt on hers just the night before.

 

“Yeah,” she heard Luna say, realizing her eyes had lowered to the bottom part of her face.

 

“Thanks,” Amber all but croaked, her throat suddenly having become insanely dry. And then, with little warning, she felt Luna’s hands rise to the sides of her mask, gently tugging it down. Their lips came together in a quick, sealed kiss, before Luna pulled away with wide eyes and pink cheeks.

 

“I am allowed to do that now, right?” she blushed madly.

 

“I-If you want to.”

 

“Good.”

  
The thought of Luna wanting to kiss her was one she didn't think she'd ever believe,  no matter how many times she said it. As if to prove it, Luna leaned in just a second later and their lips came together again before she suddenly jumped up from the bench and shouted, “I’ll race you!," sprinting all the way back to the hotel with the smitten older girl hot at her heels.


	3. Thoughts

_During Amazing f(x): New Zealand, 2012._

 

“It's nighttime now and everyone's gone to sleep, so I thought I'd say goodnight to you all,” Luna said into the vlog camera she was holding in front of her face, “Goodnight, everyone!” She waved into the lense, about the shut it off when Amber suddenly appeared behind her, “Oh, Amber, you’re still awake?”

 

The tomboy made a noise of some sort, flopping herself face down onto the sofa of their suite. “I'm sick,” she grumbled miserably.

 

“What? You're sick?” Luna asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Suddenly remembering that she was still rolling, she stood up to point the camera down at her, filming Amber as she sluggishly rolled onto her back with a pillow clutched tightly against her chest. She looked up and gave her a nod, the cute pout on her face seeming like a mask to her actual pain. Luna wanted to end the vlog and ask her how she really was, but Amber was insistent on getting in some usable footage. She ended up springing off the couch, saying something about basketball before she ended up fetching an actual ball from her room.

 

“Let's play!” she said, throwing the ball in Luna’s direction with a surprising amount of energy. They messed around for a bit longer, before the fatigue in Amber's little show began to break through. That's where Luna drew the line, saying another goodbye into the camera before quickly shutting it off.

 

“Why’d you cut it off?” Amber panted slightly, “We could've filmed a little more.”

 

“Amber,” Luna said, taking the plastic ball from her hands.

 

“What?” she replied nonchalantly, moving her body to lay on the couch again. “Turn it back on. We can shoot ourselves playing a game or something.”

 

She was breathing heavily, sniffling through her nose. Their short time running around seemed to have tired her out immensely, causing Luna to crouch down beside her with worry.

 

“Amber,” she muttered, brushing the tomboy’s flopping fringe away to lay her hand against her forehead, “You look so sick.”

 

“What? No I don't,” she protested, pushing the younger girl’s hand away as she sat up, “I'm fine. It's just a little cold.” Upon finishing her sentence, she erupted into a fit of coughing, betraying her claim.

 

“Are you okay?” Luna asked, moving to sit beside her while rubbing her back. “Jeez, Amber, why haven't you told anyone you’re this sick?”

 

“I'm okay, Luna, really. You should stop worrying about me. Aren't you worried about yourself? You're going skydiving tomorrow! That's insane. Are you scared?” she asked, her expression becoming one of deep concern, “Because if you are you really don't have to do it, Luna. You-”

 

“Yah, Amber,” Luna interrupted, “Why are you changing the subject!”

 

“I'm not,” the older girl said truthfully in her heavily congested voice, “I'm just worried about you.”

 

Luna took a good look at her good friend, her red nose, pale complexion, and worn out eyes, and let out a sigh. Even in this state, Amber still looked so worried, so concerned for her. It was so typical of her to do. She could be on her deathbed and she'd still be worrying about someone else. Luna didn't know whether she should be touched or annoyed.

 

“Why do you always do this, Amber?” she sighed again.

 

“Do what?”

 

Luna shook her head, suddenly jumping to her feet

 

“C’mon,” she said, reaching down for Amber's hand, “I'm taking you to bed. Let's go.”

 

She was surprisingly strong for her small size as she effortlessly tugged Amber off the couch despite her many protests. Luckily, they were sharing a room together that night, so all the noise they made hopefully did not reach the others.

 

“I'm not even that tired,” Amber whined childishly as Luna let go of her arm to turn down the bed.

 

“I don't care,” she replied, pushing the older girl down onto it. It took a bit of maneuvering and more protests before she was able to pull the covers up over Amber's chest, tucking her into the bed before she could get out.

 

“You didn't have to force me into bed, Luna. I'm fine. I told you,” she grumbled. Luna ignored that, perching herself on the side of the bed to check the older girl's temperature again.

 

“Hmm, you don't feel warm, I guess. You're not feeling feverish, are you?”

 

“I'm not,” Amber shook her head, Luna's hand then moving to rest against her shoulder. She didn't quite buy it though, peering into her bandmate’s eyes that looked red and strained. Curled back into the mattress with the comforter pulled up to her chin, she looked tired. Weak.

 

“There's no way you're going snorkeling with Sulli tomorrow,” Luna said decisively.

 

“What? No! I have to! Sulli needs me.”

 

Amber tried to sit up against the headboard, but Luna’s hand that was still on her shoulder held her down. “Sulli's a big girl,” she said, “She'll survive without you.”

 

“But-”

 

“No, Amber,” Luna said sternly this time before softening her tone. “I’m not letting you do this again.”

 

“Do whaaat?” the sick girl questioned, staring up at her with confusion.

 

“You know what I'm talking about, Amber,” she said quietly, poking her arm, “You're always doing things for us. Sacrificing. Bending over backwards just to make us happy no matter how much you'll be suffering. Why do you always do that? You know it's true.”

 

It was true, there was no denying it. Amber was always busying herself with things for the other members. The maknaes of their group, knowing this, took advantage of it, too. Whenever Luna saw them talk the older girl into doing whatever is is they wanted, she’d let it slide. They were younger, and Amber was their unnie, after all. But still, she couldn't help but get annoyed everytime Krystal talked her into buying food or Sulli coaxed her into doing her chore. Amber did everything for them out of love, and Luna didn't know how the others were able to exploit that.

 

“I just...I really care about you guys,” Amber said softly, an almost guilty look on her face. Luna rolled her eyes, fingers travelling upwards to stroke her cheek.

 

“I know you care about us and we care about you, too! But you don't have to do all these crazy things because of that.”

 

“I know, but…”

 

“No buts!” Luna said defiantly. She rose up from the bed, brushing her hands off against her thighs before wiggling her finger in Amber's direction. “If you're not any better by tomorrow, you are not stepping one foot on that boat nor will you be taking one foot out of this bed. Am I understood?”

 

“Yes, mom.” Amber tiredly nodded, giving her a playful salute. Luna chuckled and started walking to the door, prompting the sick girl to call out, “Where are you going?”

 

Luna pulled the door open, before turning her body around. “I’m gonna go get some of Victoria's medicine and bring you back some tea,” she said, about to step out of the room when Amber stopped her again.

 

“Sunyoung, wait!”

 

“What?” she replied, leaning against the doorframe. Amber stared at her for a moment, before shrinking back into the bed, clutching a pillow to herself. She felt a bit burdened at the thought of Luna doing all these things for her. At the same, however, she could feel this strange stirring in her chest, one she couldn’t quite place. She didn’t know what to do with it.

 

Luna was still standing there, waiting for her to continue and suddenly Amber wasn’t sure why she stopped her at all. Her mind going blank for words, she stared at her for only a second longer before suddenly blurting out “I love you” in a choked voice.

 

Luna’s face contorted for a moment, out of confusion and surprise, before she finally let out a tinkling chuckle. “You scared me. I thought you were gonna be sick there for a second,” she said with a shake of her head. She turned to exit the room again, not bothering to turn around again as she paused to say, “I love you, too, silly,” before disappearing out of Amber’s line of sight.

 

At that time, they were just two friends saying “I love you” to each other like they’d done many times before. There was nothing serious or complicated about it. It was simple. Neither of them even batted an eye when saying it, until not long after, when Amber began to find herself struggling to repeat those simple three words. All of a sudden, it wasn’t so easy anymore. It felt serious. And complicated. And Amber didn’t think she’d ever be able to even think about Luna again without those damned three words flashing through her mind like a neon sign pinned up just to torture her to no end.

 

At that time, Amber thought a lot of things, but she never thought that she’d be here, years later, seated on a street bench with her palms sweating right through the fabric of her black skinny jeans at the sight of long-time bandmate and dear friend heading toward her. It was their second date and Luna wrapped her fingers around Amber’s sweaty palm without a grimace but rather a blushing smile. Things don’t always end up like they thought they would.


End file.
